In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
is that a dick in a sweater?
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