I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
