People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
