Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
