I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dignity is for republicans.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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