Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
