I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
