Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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