yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
