I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
operation harelip BJ is a go
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize