the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
