so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
