There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
