so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
