you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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