she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
