that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
