Having a random hookup so left but love u
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
