Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
smell my finger.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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