Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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