Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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