I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize