Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
