Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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