Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize