Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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