just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
