do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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