I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Randomize
