well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize