My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize