so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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