So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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