Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
