very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
