direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
