so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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