do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize