That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
