She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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