Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
