i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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