i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
