like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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