Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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