Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
