Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
