so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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