oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
