Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
As shirtless as possible
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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