Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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