I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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