Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
