I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
