I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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