That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I still have a little drunk in my system
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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