sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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