You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
