Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
