Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
