i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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